HOW TO SPOT ASPERGER’S SYNDROME @ Heartless Aspergers. Why should you know how to spot a man who has Asperger’s Syndrome? Relationships are all about communication. Yet, autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), which include Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), are all about communication challenges and lack of emotional understanding. People with Asperger’s syndrome do not possess “Theory of Mind” abilities, which means they aren’t able to recognize and understand the thoughts, beliefs, desires and intentions of other people in order to make sense of their behavior. The result is a person who is “mindblind,” which means blindness to another person’s needs, feelings and desires. This adversely affects the important quality of empathy, which is vital to a successful and fulfilling relationship. People involved in relationships with a mindblind partner report feeling invalidated, unsupported, unheard, unknown and uncared for. They suffer from severe, ongoing emotional deprivation that results in depression, loneliness, anger, low self- esteem, emotional breakdown, PTSD and physical illness. Men with Asperger’s Syndrome are not able to recognize their own lack of empathy or their other deficits.“Do not minimize the extent of my having been changed from a vivacious, sensual, happy, loving, athletic, healthy, wealthy, bright, articulate, fairly socially adept human to being melded and molded to accommodate an autistic adult into exactly the opposite of who I am for the sake of a one- sided relationship.”Why would a woman become romantically involved with a man who has Asperger’s? Initially, a woman may admire the man’s intelligence, knowledge, good manners, old- fashioned sensibilities, unconventional charm, child- like qualities, and his practical, rational way of looking at the world. Dietary Changes Solve Many Asperger’s Syndrome Symptoms Dietary changes help children with autism and Asperger’s syndrome according to Craig Kendall, author of. Learn about Gut and Psychology Syndrome, how it develops and how to treat it effectively. HOW TO SPOT ASPERGER’S SYNDROME. Why should you know how to spot a man who has Asperger’s Syndrome? Relationships are all about communication. I am the Founder and Chair of Action for Asperger's. I am also a qualified Counsellor and Asperger's specialist (MA Autism and PGC Asperger's Syndrome) providing a. He may have a good job, often as an engineer or in an IT- related field, such as computer programming. Although the deficits of a man with AS become painfully clear in time, they often present as normal in the beginning of a relationship. Men with Asperger’s may not disclose their disorder to you. Some purposely try to hide it. Behavioural Neurotherapy Clinic provides diagnosis, assessment and treatment of autism spectrum disorder. AspergersSociety.org Learn how to successfully treat and live with Asperger's syndrome. Understand symptoms and treatments of Aspergers and autism. Welcome to the Asperger's Disorder Homepage. Since 1996, our goal is to provide you with the most basic, important and useful information about Asperger's Disorder. Autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) or autism spectrum conditions (ASCs) describe a range of conditions classified as neurodevelopmental disorders in the DSM-5, used by. HELP FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER'S & HIGH-FUNCTIONING AUTISM Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders. They are unable to understand that it will cause significant problems for you and for the relationship, so they see no reason to tell you. There are many classes, coaching programs and websites that offer training to help them act like a neurotypical (NT, or “normal”) man. Many study the words and behavior of NT people around them, and copy it. They learn exactly what they should do and say in a romantic relationship, since none of it comes naturally to them. It’s an act, one they feel they must put on to win you. No one can keep up an act forever.“The person with Asperger’s Syndrome may have developed a superficial expertise in romance and dating from careful observation, and by mimicking actors and using the script from television programs and films. Be cool, I told myself, roughly ten- thousand times a day. We got engaged, and still I did everything I could to impress her, because, as I understood it, that’s what a person did when they landed themselves a fianc. I showered Kristen with affection and praise, went out of my way to act supportive, and never once voiced a negative thought or feeling. What was not to love about that guy? After we were married, and we were living together around the clock, Kristen began to understand exactly what was hard to love about that guy: he wasn’t entirely real. By our third anniversary, the illusion I’d created had been shattered. If it’s well- hidden, and you’re not specifically looking for it, the condition can reveal itself slowly, one misunderstanding and baffling meltdown at a time. And it makes me wonder. We were not talking the same language and misunderstandings were the rule. I learnt the hard way what Asperger Syndrome was.”What is Asperger’s Syndrome? Asperger. Affected individuals display considerably impaired capacity for social interaction and communication. A diagnosis of AS includes social impairments, such as: the lack of social and emotional reciprocity; difficulties in understanding social situations and other people’s thoughts and feelings; tendency to think of issues as being black and white, rather than considering multiple perspectives in a flexible way; frequent tendency to say things without considering the emotional impact on the listener; lack of spontaneous interest in sharing experiences with others. AS also includes restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, such as: preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted pattern of interest; inflexible adherence to specific routines or rituals; stereotyped or repetitive motor mannerisms. Many incorrectly believe that those with AS—considered a “high- functioning” Autism Spectrum Disorder—have a mild disability and need next to nothing in the way of support. The fact is that people with “high functioning” Autism Spectrum Disorders are often quite severely disabled. They need support and services in the areas of relationships, social care, living skills, respite and community integration, health, housing, education, employment, etc. The person with AS is unaware of what their loved ones think or feel, and even when told, he can only see things from his point of view. With limited empathy for others, connecting with a loved one is extremely difficult, so those with Asperger Syndrome go through life focused on their own needs and wants and often miss what is going on with others.“There is zero desire to hear the other person’s perspective. There is no compassion or empathy for the struggles the other person is going through. There is an air of superiority, and there are many demands to have his own way. And it’s all making me sick.”As individuals with AS age, most develop a wide variety of coping skills and discover ways to mask their behavioral traits so that under many circumstances they can “pass for normal.” You must be very astute to pick up on clues of AS in the beginning of a relationship. Men with AS need—and often have been given—explicit instructions to ask you how your day was, to send you flowers, to send flirty or loving text messages every morning, to hold your hand when you walk down the street, to avoid giving monologues on their “special interest,” etc. Many men with AS are unaware they have the disorder, and in that case it’s far easier to spot. With that said, here are the signs: Their speech is pedantic, meaning that it is filled with obscure, minute facts and details; is overly concerned with formalisms; displays a narrow concern for book learning and formal rules; and is overly concerned with the precise meanings of words. They have difficulties with pragmatic, or social, language. This includes saying inappropriate things, not taking turns in conversations, speaking in a way that is not appropriate for an informal social setting, or speaking in the same manner to a two- year- old and an adult. They may speak too fast, have a monotone or robotic voice, or speak too loudly. They have difficulty with semantics, such as understanding the meaning of words within different contexts. They may not understand that you “love” pizza in a different way than you “love” your mother. Their speech is marked by the use of “technical” or “scientific” words, or even a “high- brow vocabulary.” They often sound pretentious, although at first you may be too impressed to see it that way. They don’t understand that speech used during social conversation is different from speech used in learning situations or in books. Often, they speak in a way that requires a high level of knowledge in their particular area of expertise, an expertise they know you do not have. If they were speaking to a group of scholars or students of the subject, it would be appropriate. They cannot adapt their speech to suit their audience. Without that flexibility, they aren’t truly communicating—they’re merely bombarding their audience with words that make no sense because they are unable to take into into consideration the person who is listening. Conversely, they may not take your existing knowledge into consideration. For example, if they tell you they washed their car they may describe to you every single detail of washing a car, as if you’ve never washed one before. They usually have an obsessive, consuming interest in one subject, to the exclusion of others. Examples include knowing every fact possible about The Beatles, the Federal Papers, Buddhism, train schedules, cycling, the stock market or Star Trek. Their obsessive interest may even be something that could land them in hot water, such as explosives, deviant sexual interests, computer hacking or firearms. A celebrity (or even YOU) could become their special interest and experience unwanted attention, harassment or stalking. They can come across as “The Professor” because they have a tendency to go into long, pedantic monologues about their obsessive interest, not recognizing the other person is bored or isn’t being given a chance to speak. They come across as arrogant. Because many of them can only take things literally, they usually have trouble with euphemisms (polite expressions used in place of phrases that might be considered harsh; such as “bit the big one” or “between jobs”); jokes; sarcasm; teasing; colloquialisms (informal, ordinary or familiar words or phrases, such as “go bananas”); cliches; neologisms (newly coined words or phrases that aren’t formally recognized yet, such as “muffin top,” “staycation,” and “bestie”); turns of phrase (“there’s more than one way to skin a cat”); and common humorous expressions. To us, such phrases immediately convey the general idea intended. A person with AS may hide his confusion by staying silent, laughing along with you or in some way pretending to understand.
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